State of the Union Predictions

Because I loooooove to prognosticate (and, apparently, procrastinate), here are my thoughts on tonight's State of the Union Address.

Things we will hear:

• "The State of the Union is strong!" (*snort*)
• "No Child Left Behind was a success!" (*snort*)
• "The troop surge worked!" (*snort*)
• "I care about America!" (*triplefucking snort*)
• "Pass my most awesome, excellent economic stimulus package!" (*sigh*)

Things we will not hear:

• the truth.
• the truth.
• the truth.