Everyone's a Comback Kid

No, seriously. In The Washington Post this morning, at least two people have been labeled "Comeback Kids": Hillary Clinton and John McCain. No doubt that after South Carolina, Edwards and Obama will become "Comeback Kids," as will Huckabee when he takes another state.

I'm not sure how far back this "Comeback Kid" business goes, but it's definitely a term that got applied to Clinton the first before the 1992 election. I think Bill gave himself the moniker after he lost to Paul Tsongas in the New Hampshire primary but wound up taking the state on election night--by a large percentage.* And this is why Hillary *isn't* the new "Comeback Kid."

Now, I'm not exactly sure what the people of New Hampshire were thinking, but clearly some of them must have been smoking the wacky tabacky last night when they went to the polls for Clinton. (Don't think Rani doesn't know what goes on at Hampshire College--or at Dartmouth for that matter.) But even though Clinton won the primary, it was hardly by a large percentage. In fact, CNN held off on projecting the winner because the primary was pretty close. This wasn't some Comeback Kid, large percentage victory.

Don't be fooled by these tactics being employed by the Hillary camp.

Hate to tell you, but Hillary really is a robot from a galaxy far, far away. After all the horrors of the past eight years, it's easy to imagine that the Clinton years were this halcyon time when we all rode horsies and unicorns through the puffy clouds. Not so.

Remember Hillary's failed health care policy?
Remember Black Hawk Down and Somalia?
Remember Whitewater?
Remember campaign-finance investigations?
Remember Don't Ask Don't Tell?
Remember the Federal Government Furlough (during which our President was getting a visit from Ol' Blue Dress's Presidential Kneepads--and no, they weren't playing volleyball)?
Remember when Billary claimed they'd be adopting a (special needs) child but conveniently changed their minds after the 1996 election?
Remember Vince Foster (murder or suicide, your guess is as good as mine)?
Remember Bosnia and exaggerated claims of genocide--sounds familiar, eh?
Remember that the Clinton administration brought us the extraordinary rendition used to torture "suspected terrorists" in Syrian black prisons today?

I mention these things because Hillary predicates her experience on her tenure as First Lady. And by all accounts, she wasn't some shrinking violet First Lady who picks out new draperies. She was running the show and telling her husband what to do.

First Lady Macbeth.

Well, I say, "Out, out damn Hillary."

*And by "taking," we might wonder if Bill finished himself off in a sink... as he is wont to do.

Rani picked the Repubs!

CNN projected McCain as the winner, with Romney in second, and Huckabee in third.

Edwards has been projected to come in third, with a tight race between Clinton and Obama. Clinton appears to be leading. Snarff has declared his intentions to commit seppuku.

Iowa Cometh

Rani now has a sinus infection and is reportedly sleeping with a "lavendar warming sheep" on her head so I'll weigh in briefly: Iowa. Caucuses. These caucuses are going to give the go-nowhere candidates a chance to quit without looking like quitters. And it's going to pick a frontrunner with actual delegates instead of just polls and cash. I'm going to rank the field as to my prefered candidates from both parties (in one handy list!)

1. John Edwards: Every time I think about crappy health care, huge co-pays and prescriptions draining my bank account I think about JE (not to be confused with JC although don't forget Jesus liked the poor and healing people too). Yes we have a chance for a good solid Progressive and maybe we can make some *gasp* progress!


2. Dennis Kucinich: Just saw Star Wars III again on Skinimax. Kucinich IS Yoda. Pointy ears. Wise words. Sees a lot of spaceships. Short. Handy with a light saber. Friendly with Large, hairy women (we all know what's behind Yoda's "good relations" with the Wookies. He's a freak!)

3. Chris Dodd: He's a bit of a speed-talker which is a problem because Americans can be slow-understanders. A cool stand on the senate floor, he speaks fluent Spanish...not a bad guy.




4. Barack Obama: Oprah likes him. He also does have a lot in common with JFK. He's charismatic, inexperienced, risky electorally and either he doesn't have a lot of policy ideas or is playing everything close to the vest (I believe the second, frankly.) Unlike JFK he doesn't have a quip for every occasion and also he tends to use big words most Americans don't understand. But wouldn't that be a relief after W?

5. Mike Gravel: "Imagine you had a chance in hell..."

6. Bill Richardson: Folksy only goes so far.

7. Joe Biden: Annoying life-long political insider.

8. Ron Paul: No NAFTA, no war--great; guns--fine (after the Bush administration I'm kind of glad the country is well-armed and hard to take over)...the rest not so much

9. Hillary Rodham Clinton: A wolf in sheep's clothing on war, trade and corporate welfare but we could use some progressive judges

10. John McCain: At least he's anti-torture (sort-of)



11. Alan Keyes: Easy to put him here because he has no shot. And he was in Borat!

12. Fred Thompson: This dude is comatose.

13. Duncan Hunter: Who?

14. Mitt Romney: Awful candidate and he "saw the Patriots win the World Series." Not even the Patriots are THAT good.

15. Rudy Giuliani: Slimy criminal taking shit from 9/11 firefighters. Wish I believed in Hell.

16. Mike Huckabee: "When fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross." That's what Bush was wrapped in. This guy is a dangerous fundamentalist and is looking to become the Ayatollah of America. God help us all.