State of the Union Predictions

Because I loooooove to prognosticate (and, apparently, procrastinate), here are my thoughts on tonight's State of the Union Address.

Things we will hear:

• "The State of the Union is strong!" (*snort*)
• "No Child Left Behind was a success!" (*snort*)
• "The troop surge worked!" (*snort*)
• "I care about America!" (*triplefucking snort*)
• "Pass my most awesome, excellent economic stimulus package!" (*sigh*)

Things we will not hear:

• the truth.
• the truth.
• the truth.
  

Recession Roundup: Stupid Economic Simulus

Word out on the street is that Bush is pushing a $145 billion economic stimulus package designed to prevent us from entering a recession. (N.B. Can we stop pretending we're not in a recession already?)

This package includes up to $800 in tax relief for income tax payers, which will be accomplished without repealing Bush's tax cuts for the rich.

Explain me this: Given our current deficit, how is this a good plan? I will remind you that the US National Debt clock currently reads:

.

But where will this money come from? Will we just tack it onto our deficit? We're certainly not getting it from the wealthy--those very people who have benefited from Bush's presidency and who, in truth, bear partial responsibility for the state of the economy at the moment. Had they said, "You know? We should do our part and be taxed fairly," I don't think we'd be in as dire a situation as we are right now. (Given Bush's stupidity, no doubt we'd still be SOL but not to the tune of nearly $9.2 trillion.)

And what about the people who don't pay income tax? There's something like 50 million Americans who don't pay income tax because they do not make enough money to have to pay! They could certainly use $800 more than I could. In fact, mark my words, if I receive an $800 check from the U.S. Treasury, I will find a family who doesn't pay income tax, and I will GIVE them my check. I mean it. I know it's not going to solve the world's problems, but I'll do it for the principle. Don't these people deserve some relief, seeing as they're the people with the *real* problems: the ones who can't afford to put a tank of gas in their cars (if they even own one), the ones who can't afford the rising cost of food staples, the ones who don't have job security because they work in construction and will be the first to be laid off, the ones who have to choose between buying their children a winter coat and paying for the gas bills that heat their homes. Why should a family of four making between $25K and $40K not receive tax relief while I would?

If you have a chance to call up your Senators or Representatives about this, please do. Tell them that you support a stimulus package that looks after non-income-tax-paying individuals. These are the people being hit hardest by the recession that we are currently in. These are the individuals who have the most to lose when money is cut from social programs to pay for my $800. And if you are fortunate enough to receive a relief check, give it to someone who really needs it. While stimulating the economy, you will also be helping out someone who really needs it. Because, face it, you probably don't.

RIP Benzair Bhutto

Rather than provide any sort of comment, I offer portions of an article from the Washington Post, located here. Do with it what you will.

Although no group has claimed responsibility for Bhutto's killing, Western leaders immediately pointed to the Islamic extremist groups operating with increasing intensity in Pakistan, including those with links to al-Qaeda.

Yelling "Musharraf is a dog," they blamed him for Bhutto's death.

Bush, whose administration played a key role in arranging Bhutto's return to the country Oct. 18, spoke by telephone with Musharraf hours after her death.

In the narrow corridor outside the operating room, supporters cried out: "Long live Bhutto!" and "Musharraf is a murderer!"

"This is the height of brutality. They have hanged her father. They have killed her brothers. The government has killed all the good people of Pakistan," said Sarfraz Khan. "Please pray for us. Pray for our poor country."

The Readers Have Spoken

In our last poll, we asked, "Which is the biggest lie."

Your choices: Mike Huckabee is right about Creationism, Hillary really bakes cookies, Dennis Kucinich saw a UFO, Bush just got the Iran report last week.

Which is the biggest lie?

Bush just got the Iran report last week took a narrow win over Hillary's culinary skills.

No one voted for Kucinich's UFO encounter, which either suggests that we believe Kucinich or he sounds positively earnest compared to the rest of these characters.

Now, we bring you a new poll. Speak your mind. Be not afraid.

All the News...

Baseketball: Here I am, mildly hamstrung by an aching wrist--but after the Mitchell Report, my doctor refuses to do anything about it. How the not-so-mighty have fallen. Don't you remember when George Mitchell was doing IRA/Northern Ireland peace talks? I once had a classmate who claimed George Mitchell was her father. He wasn't. I should have realized this, since "Mitchell" wasn't her surname, but I was trying not to be judgmental. Bad idea.

Halliburton Land: I still haven't seen much coverage of the Halliburton rape case. Yes, there are now 730 Google News hits, but I haven't really seen it in any of the major locales. (No, The Kansas Record isn't what I have in mind). Get it together, major news media outlets! Hillary Clinton, I saw at one point, has called for a probe into the case. Good one Hillary. You were probably guarding the shipping crate and withholding the cell phone.

Primary School: Straight outta Des Moines, Mike Huckabee tells Elizabeth Edwards that Des Moines Register debates are dull ("It's boring") and everyone with half a brain cell declares John Edwards the winner of the debate. And how could you not? He has got all the charm of Jimmy Carter minus the October Surprise. He won't get down and dirty in various Obama-Clinton debacles. While they are playing playground politics, Edwards is busy saving puppies and helping old ladies cross the street.

The Cold Truth: I'm just going to say it. Don't go to the primaries electing people on whim or novelty. There's too much "Ooooh! A woman!" and "Oooooh! An African American!" going on. Look at the big picture. Think about who might win a general election. Think about all those people who aren't like you, who think electing anyone other than a white Christian man goes against God's (and Chuck Norris') law. Come time for the national election, when they're hesitating between Mitt "I Wear Magical Undies" Romney and Hillary Clinton, who are they going to pick? When they are forced to choose between Mike "I Love Chuck" Huckabee and Barack Obama, what are they going to do?

Quite frankly, I'm fed up with the Lil' Dems a lot of the time, but they're infinitely preferable to the Lil' Repubs. Let's think about our latest Lil' Dem Presidents: Lil' Bill, Lil' Jimmy Carter, Lil' Lyndon Johnson. White. Southern. Men. Lil' John Edwards. White. Southern. Man.

If we hadn't just endured eight years from hell, courtesy of Dubya, I'd probably be voting for Lil' Barack. But it's been bad, kids. Really bad. In my hunt for an electable candidate, I stumbled over Lil' John Edwards, and I realized that he's more of what I was looking for anyway.

And the man drives a gold Dodge Caravan. I know this because Snarff and I were at an event once and, when we left, wound up on Massachusetts Avenue behind Lil' John Edwards. I began to wave crazily out the car window, and he waved back.

Recession Roundup

Reuters and other news agencies are reporting that central banks around the world are coming together to ease the credit crunch for overtaxed banks that are having trouble borrowing money.

WWAGD?*

This news report reminded me of another event in U.S. history--Black Thursday. You might not remember October 24, 1929, but that was the day that people started dumping their stock holdings, leading J.P. Morgan and other bankers to band together to buy up stocks and shore up the stock market. And we know how well that turned out. Just five days later, October 29, 1929, was the more famous Black Tuesday, the beginning of the Great Crash and the single most devastating financial day in the history of the New York Stock Exchange.**

What am I trying to tell you? Buy gold. I recommend Barclay's Bank Gold Shares, traded on the American Stock Exchange as "IAU."

Financial advice aside, I think it's time to get comfortable with that "r" word. Just say it.... Recession. Recession. Recession. Keep hoping it doesn't turn into that "d" word. Don't say it. Although Bush tried to claim that we're not headed for recession when he announced the mortgage freeze last week, the writing is on the wall.

What is it about Bushes that when we elect one, we end up in recession? Oh right.... Iraq.... Iraq... Iraq... Cronies... I can barely believe that, once upon a time, during the Bill Clinton years, we had, what, the smallest deficit in the history of time? And now?

A handy U.S. National Debt Clock is keeping track. As of this posting:



I'm not great with math, but is that nearly 9.2 TRILLION dollars?

Hold on to your hats, kids, 'cause things aren't going to get better any time soon.

*What would Alan Greenspan Do?
**I believe that October 19, 1987 or Black Monday might actually now be the largest stock market crash in terms of numbers, but Black Tuesday had more devastating results/fallout.

No Laws for Halliburton: The Pitfalls of Privatizing Everything

First Blackwater and now this.

I hope you've seen an absolutely shocking allegation from Jamie Leigh Jones, a Texas woman who was gang raped while working in Iraq for Halliburton.

To make her brutal humiliation even worse, when Jones wanted to seek medical help, she was locked in a shipping crate without food and water for over a day. All courtesy of Halliburton.

Jones managed to convince a kind(?) guard to let her use a cell phone, and Jones called her father who, in turn, called the State Department. The State Department sent an envoy from the U.S. embassy in Iraq to extricate Jones from the situation.

Look at these lawless corporations running Iraq. Shooting civilians and raping women. Way to rebuild a country, good sir.

Perhaps Americans don't really think about the Iraqi women who routinely are victims of the same brutality that Jones experienced. But maybe the fact that one of their own has received such abhorrent treatment will galvanize individuals against the free reign given to these corporations by the Bush administration. While I in no way want to minimize the horrors that Jones endured, I can't help but suggest that her experience is a perfect (and terrifying) metaphor of what Bush, Cheney, and their corporate cronies have done to America, Iraq, and the rest of the world.

Saudi, Saudi, Saudi, I Can Let You Go...

This morning, The Washington Post reports that while Gitmo endures, the United States and Saudi Arabia have worked up an extra special plan to "reintegrate" Saudi detainees back into society. Sounds like a little "special buddies" action, no?

According to the Post:

The Defense Department considered more than 90 percent of the transferred detainees to be terrorist threats to the United States and its allies, but sent them home as part of an agreement that Saudi Arabia would mitigate the threat, according to Cmdr. J.D. Gordon, a Pentagon spokesman.

Does this sound fishy to you? "We consider them a threat, but Saudi Arabia will make it aaaaall better." Hmm. Since Saudi Arabia is so adept at prisoner reform, let's just ship our convicts there and watch them rise like phoenixes from the ashes of the U.S. penal system.

From the Saudi perspective:

The Saudi government contends that the reintegration program helps break the terrorist mind-set by linking former detainees with their families, their communities and a stable lifestyle. "No one who has gone through the program, completed it, and been released has presented a threat," said Adel al-Jubeir, the Saudi ambassador to Washington.

So we're assuming that everyone who was locked in Guantanamo actually was a terrorist? That's news to me.

But, in just six short weeks, your jihadist impulses will be gone:

After a reunion of nearly a week with their families, the former detainees begin a six-week program to "correct their ideas" about jihad and non-Muslims, a government effort to woo them away from al-Qaeda's radical theology in one-on-one discussions with religious scholars, Saudi officials said.

And you'll be living in the lap of luxury, kind of like Britney Spears in rehab:

After completing the course, former detainees begin the second phase at a halfway house, replete with a pool, volleyball courts, video games and table tennis. "It's like outpatient treatment. It's like a camp or resort," said a senior Saudi official familiar with the program, who agreed to be interviewed only if he was not identified.... They receive vocational training, religious classes and counseling to deal with depression or to help them adjust psychologically after lengthy captivities. They can spend an occasional night with their families; during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, they spend a week with relatives.

If you gave me a Wii, I might stop being a terrorist too.

Now, of course, I have no problems with the idea of releasing people from Gitmo. Their incarceration and treatment is nothing short of abysmal. Locking people away in Guantanamo is a pretty naive way for the U.S. to avoid taking responsibility for its own behavior and an evil, calculated way to galvanize public support for a failing war and an economy that is on an express train to recession.

What does bother me, however, is that this repatriation program is just another example of the buddy-buddiness with Saudi Arabia that is so characteristic of a Bush. (Not to mention: Saudi clearly is hamstringing the U.S. because of our oil habit, forcing Bush to leave troops in Iraq.)

In fact, the Post article notes:

U.S. and Saudi officials doubt, however, that the program could be adapted to Yemen, Somalia and other countries that lack appropriate resources or strong central governments.

Ah yes, the old "appropriate resources" and "central governments" debate. Why don't they just say it: "We're pissed off at Yemen, because that's where Osama's from" and "Somalia is filled with Africans so we can't trust them." That's *really* how Bush feels. Why pretend that Saudi Arabia is a happy paradise, an island floating in an ocean of Islamic fundamentalism. And how many of those 9/11 hijackers were Saudi? Exactly. Pot meet kettle meet pot.

Why not just say, "Saudi Arabia has colonized us, courtesy of the Bush family, through our dependence on their oil. That's why we're giving them their citizens back." Or "Al-Saud promised ponies for the president and every member of his administration."

At the very least, the pony bribe makes sense. The narratives of Saudi exceptionalism don't.

Bush Announces Mortgage Freeze...

Then tells the White House chef to make him one for dessert.

Who knew it would come to this? If you meet the criteria, you might be able to get a five-year interest rate freeze on your ARM. But don't get excited yet, cautions The Washington Post:

The Center for Responsible Lending, which battles predatory lending, estimated that only 145,000 homeowners would qualify for the freeze because the criteria are too narrow.

The criteria include having consistently made mortgage payments on the lower rate and living in your home. This would exclude speculators. That can't be a bad thing.

And here I thought everyone who had an interest only loan should suffer the consequences of his or her stupid loan choices. These are not the rantings of a bitter woman with a 15-year fixed rate mortgage. This for all the people who *didn't* buy property because they realized that there was no way their income would increase commensurate with the interest rates they were going to pay on their "interest only" loans.

But really, the source of this problem isn't young people who want to buy properties they can't afford. The real problem is two-fold: American materialism and greedy lenders. Let me tell you a little story.

When my parents were just starting out (and, mind you, they were doctors), they bought a Fiat and lived in hospital housing. Over time, they bought nicer cars and bigger houses. Approximately 10 years after the Fiat and the hospital housing, they moved to America. And we lived in an apartment and had an ugly-yet-loveable Toyota Cressida, which we kept for the next ten years. So even though my parents were well into their 30s and 40s at that point, they were starting over at the beginning. But did they go and get an adjustable rate mortgage to buy property they couldn't yet afford? No. And when they had saved enough money for a down payment and had built up credit here, they bought a townhouse. Did they go buy a single-family-and-help mansion? No, they bought a townhouse. And, later, a nicer car. And, later, a nicer house with a 30-year fixed rate mortgage. Could they have bitten off more than they could chew? Well, of course. Did they? No.

And therein lies the lesson that's to be learned from all of this. As professional adults with a family, my parents started over and knew what they realistically could and could not afford. Couldn't they have thought, "Well, we had a house in England. We should have a house in America right away" and taken a subprime mortgage to make that happen? Yes, but they didn't.

It's hard to live in America in the new millennium. Believe me, I feel for you. But it's okay to rent an apartment for a while until you are in the position to make a sensible investment (or until your parents, out of the generosity of their hearts, buy a condo in which you can live). If you believe otherwise, it's because you've bought into a system that is telling you that you do not have enough for the sole purpose of exploiting you and taking your money. The subprime morgage rate is the new indentured servitude, and if enough people refuse to be indentured, then these lenders will get the message.

It's okay to work your way up to that de-luxe mansion in the skyyyyyy. George and Wheezy did it, and so can you.

If They Don't Exist, It Didn't Happen

This just in: CIA destroys tapes of particularly nasty interrogations.

What surprises me more than the CIA destroying these tapes--which, let's be honest, not a surprise--is the CIA admitting that these tapes existed in the first place.

Let's explore the statements that this particular article makes, statements that hail from the loving arms of Big Brother, er the (un)intelligence community. As you can see, something's rotten in the state of Guantanamo.

Statement 1
They were made as "an internal check" on the CIA's use of harsh interrogation techniques, believed to include waterboarding, a technique that involves restraining a suspect and pouring water on him or her to produce the sensation of drowning.

Translation
George Tenet: Um, Mr. President? I found this tape. I'm a little bit concerned.
George Bush: Oh, little Georgie. Come sit on my knee and tell me your problems. If it was a tape of Mom and Pop, well, you shouldn't be too surprised. I'm sure that office of yours has seen more than its fair share of.... Well, what with J. Edgar Hoover.
George Tenet: Mr. President, that was the FBI.
George Bush: My daddy was head of the FBI?
George Tenet: No. J. Edgar Hoover was.
George Bush: J. Edgar Who? Come on over here, and I'll make all your pain go away.
George Tenet: This tape. *Sniff* It shows.... (shocked whisper) Waterboarding and---
George Bush: Well there, Georgie. I took a class by the ocean once. Waterboarding. Couldn't stay up on that board... hehe. I love trying out watersports, but Laura don't like 'em.
George Tenet: Um. Waterboarding is... torture.
George Bush: Georgie. I took an... an acting class once.
George Tenet: Mr. President, please.
George Bush: No no. Hear me out. It was the StanstedAirport.... No.... The StanfordUniversity..... No. It's a... method.
George Tenet: Stanislavski?
George Bush: Yeaaaaah, that's about right.
George Tenet: What does Stanislavski have to....?
George Bush: The tape. Use it.

Statement 2
Hayden said the agency began taping interrogations after the 2002 capture of Zubayda, whose "defiant and evasive" response to "normal questioning ... made imperative the use of other means to obtain the information."

Translation
Dick Cheney: What do you mean he won't cooperate?
George Tenet: We asked him questions....
Dick Cheney: Nicely?
George Tenet: Yes?
Dick Cheney: NEVER. NEVER. NEVER ASK THEM QUESTIONS NICELY.
George Tenet: (cowering) What should I do now?
Dick Cheney: Have you tried a cattle prod to the testicles?
George Tenet: Right away, sir. (fumbles with his zipper)
Dick Cheney: Not on yourself. On the enemy combatant.

Statement 3
President Bush disclosed the detention of Zubayda in September 2006 and said his behavior prompted the use of "an alternative set of procedures," which he said were cleared by the Department of Justice.

Translation
George Tenet: Mr. Rove? Why did you have us detain Mr..... Zubayda? There was no evidence of his....
Karl Rove: Sounds like Dubya.
George Tenet: Excuse me?
Karl Rove: Zubayda. Dubya.
George Tenet: Why, that's absurd.
Karl Rove: Don't want Mr. President... I mean... the American people... getting confused.