Recount! Recount!

In case you haven't heard, there's going to be a recount for the New Hampshire Primary.

Some of us right here at American Other suggested that there might have been something hinkey going on with New Hampshire, so we're pleased that officials will be reconsidering the ballots. Of course, if some sort of tampering or unfairness occurred in the first place, I have difficulty believing that it wouldn't happen with a recount as well.

Of course, this whole situation recalls the 2000 election, though there's a lot less at stake at the moment.*

I have no doubt that the election results will change in some way, though I doubt they will change much for Kucinich (who is instigating the recount with Republican Albert Howard--they fronted the $2,000 needed to start the process).

I think the recount will give Ron Paul a boost and, in fact, I find his primary results to be most suspicious. I also think that percentages will change for both Obama and Edwards and that Hillary Clinton will prove to have less support.

Why is Kucinich doing that? Clearly, his 1.4% won't be increasing to the levels that would make him a viable candidate. I think he has a few reasons:

• The Principle--Aren't you inherently skeptical of most polls? I know I am. Having a recount would give us another data set to consider. Of course, it'll probably just make me continue to distrust results, and I'll want another recount. If, however, the results are close enough, then maybe I'll have more faith in the act of election (though certainly not in the morons doing the electing!)
• Folk Heroism--If Kucinich's recount initiative uncovers some dirty laundry, he will gain my admiration. He might even gain my vote! Okay, since I've been considering electability in my voting (and apparently the large body of Obama and Clinton voters don't care about this and are willing to turn over the reigns to President Huckabee), I probably wouldn't go vote for Kucinich, but I'd certainly tell everyone how cool he is. Maybe I'll put a picture of him on my wall, next to all my Star Wars paraphernalia.
• Making Votes Count--Have all the voters had their votes counted? Kucinich wants some assurance.
  

What do you think will happen?

*Much is at stake in the election proper, but this is only the beginning. There is still time for America--and Edwards--to rise.

Rani picked the Repubs!

CNN projected McCain as the winner, with Romney in second, and Huckabee in third.

Edwards has been projected to come in third, with a tight race between Clinton and Obama. Clinton appears to be leading. Snarff has declared his intentions to commit seppuku.

My Post-Debate Reprise

My god, he has a lot of chins.

The Rani and Snarff are on the debate coverage already, but I wanted to add my own bit in here, too.

So after watching the Dem debates, I went ahead and watched the Red debates, too (thanks, Comcast DVR!). There are some marked differences that I think should be pointed out.

The Republican debate seemed to focus a good bit on immigration, and Giuliani spent a fair bit of time touting his law enforcement background and how "amnesty for illegals" is bad. Last night he was a cop, and just the kind of cop you hate to get pulled over by. Everyone else pretty much pounced on his own record as mayor of New York, and how he basically gave amnesty...or maybe he didn't. But he sure looked nutty for a moment there.

At least two Republicans have conflated immigration with security (Giuliani and McCain). There's a lot of talk about the importance of "securing our borders" and "sealing our borders," which I think is kind of stupid--as if there's a giant tube of caulk out there that you can use to keep out the pesky Canadians who keep getting into the bathtup of the Great Lakes.

(The thing that is most obvious that no one talks about when it comes to border security is that everyone's focused on the Mexican border. There's not a lot of talk about the Canadian border, which presumably is just as porous, and just as insecure. But it's the Mexicans that scare the bejeezus out of the Republicans.)

Romney played the exact same kind of "I've brought change!" bullet point list that Hillary did later on, with not quite the same amount of fire or indignation. No one's eyebrows went up at all like they did when Hillary got riled up. Change! Everyone's for it, but I guess it's the denominations that are important, huh?

McCain's targetted Obama on his security background, and believes that "radical Islamist terrorism" is the primary threat faced by America. In fact, there's a lot of targetting Democrats on how weak they are, and how "creating timetables for withdrawal in a time of war" is tantamount to retreat, and therefore shameful.

Huckabee is the only one who even mentions anything positive about Obama, and rightly so: "He's touched on something that Americans want....He has excited voters in this country, let's pay respect for that. We better be careful as a party, because if we don't give people something to be for, and not just something to be against, we're going to lose this election."

Ron Paul jumped on that same wagon, to some degree, basically talking about the youthfulness of the ideas. He explores the differences a bit more, touting his own libertarian background. He still slams Obama for "not talking about income tax" and supporting a welfare state (which Obama actually did talk about in the Dem debate, so...uh...).

The topic of India and China as developing markets (and therefore as competitor consumers for oil) is kind of interesting for the candidate reactions. Ron Paul makes this all about oil. He makes an interesting point about the price of oil: that it was $27 a barrel when we went to Iraq, and now it's around $100, and this was supposed to be about "securing the oil" (it was?! WTF?! As if this particular bit of truth were not totally anathema just a year ago). McCain follows along on the oil topic, and talks about reducing dependence on foreign oil, but does not talk about ethanol and what a disaster it is. We're really moving astray from the topic, but no one seems to care. Thompson just reiterates the obvious, except he also suggest we use the oil reserves in this country (presumably, this means ANWR). He also suggest we "need the oil to flow" while we search for alternatives, which doesn't make any sense, but again, no one bites. Giuliani jumps on the same "ennumerate forms of alternate energy" train as everyone else, and throws in clean coal, wind, and nuclear.

Charlie points out that nuclear is an interesting topic in NH. Huckabee dodges that bullet and keeps on with how great innovation is. No one wants to say that oil companies' excessive profits getting taxed (the "windfall tax") is a good idea. Romney doesn't say anything new, either. Everyone says we need to invest in new forms of energy. No one seems to be thinking too clearly about it, though.

Romney and McCain hate each other the way Hillary and Obama hate each other. That's obvious. But...it kind of seems like no one cares. They had a pretty heated exchange when McCain somewhat sarcastically said Romney was a "real candidate of change," and Romney said the ad hominem attacks were unnecessary.

In fact, Stephanopolous pointed out in the post-debate dissection that none of the other candidates seem to like Romney very much, and that several of them went at it with him. Romney did force McCain to talk about immigration, which McCain was reluctant to do. And Giuliani clearly didn't mind letting Romney and McCain go at each other for a while.

The handshakes at the end of the Republican debate when they walked the Dems out and all the candidates shook hands and greeted each other were interesting to me, too. First, the audience loved it, and clapped the whole time that the candidates were on stage. Next, it's interesting to note who stopped where to talk:

Ron Paul sort of paired up with Richardson for a while.

• Obama hugged McCain like he meant it.
• McCain hugged Edwards like they were going to make out.
• Hillary didn't really linger with anyone, moving right down the line. She smiled biggest for McCain and paired up with him for a moment.
• Richardson kept it moving, but did seem to linger a while with Giuliani.
• The mics caught Hillary greeting Charlie rather warmly ("Hello, Charlie! How are you?") and his tepid response ("Hello there").

Stephanopoulous points out that the Clinton / Richardson relationship might not be as warm as it seems, because of some purported backroom deals between Richardson and Obama for Iowa. The relevant details are not explored any further, but George says that the Clintons are "livid" about it.

In-ter-est-ing.

Oh, and FYI, for those of you who were really focused on Iowa and Huckabee's "victory," keep in mind that Romney just won the Wyoming caucus. That race is far from over.

Also, I'm not sure what the MSM is up to, but I was really teed off by the implications during the Dem debate last night that "the surge has worked." Lest you think that, today's headlines should help set things straight:

• Shiite sheikh shot dead by gunmen in Baghdad neighborhood, officials
  say


• Ismaiel Abbas had been active in efforts to counter militia
  activity


• 16 people killed, 32 wounded in three separate bombings in Iraqi
  capital
  
  BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Three separate bombings killed at
  least 16 people Sunday, and gunmen shot to death a Shiite tribal sheikh active
  in an effort to counter militias in his northeastern Baghdad neighborhood, Iraqi
  officials said.

Uh, yeah, I'm going to plan my vacation to Baghdad immediately. Thank you, Surge!

On the Dem side, here's the tally:
Clinton 33%
Obama 33%
Edwards 20%
Richardson 4%
Kucinich 2%

And the Republicans' scorecard:
McCain 33%
Romney 27%
Giuliani 14%
Huckabee 11%

(all numbers courtesy of CNN.com)

Based on those preliminary numbers, an Obama / Edwards ticket makes quite a bit of sense. It'd be tough to beat, since both Edwards and Obama have some support on the other side of the aisle.

Finally, for those of you who'd be interested in making a trip to Denver, Aug 25-28 for some real political fun, let me know. I'm going to go. If ever there was a DNC to attend, this is it!

Dem Debate: Slam Book Style

Charlie Gibson asks, "What do you wish you hadn't said in a debate?"

Hillary: Waffles, no comment.

Richardson: Claimed to love a U.S. Supreme Court justice who opposed Roe v. Wade. Bo-oring.

Edwards: "I made a horrendous mistake of teasing Hillary about her jacket. And I want her to know--you look terrific tonight."

Obama: Lots of words, no substantial comment.

This pretty much sums up tonight's debate. Who do you think is the winner?

Newsflash: "I have feelings too!" -Hillary

Charlie Gibson notes that people like Obama better. Hillary replies, "Well, that hurts my feelings!" [Cue laughter.]

That's news to me! Feelings? From the woman who once noted that she pities unthinking emotion? Whose daughter once told her school chums that emotions are for the weak?

Elizabeth Declares John in Second Place

John Edwards gave a most awesome speech after the Iowa results. Ballsy Elizabeth Edwards declared second place for John, and it seems that her prognostication is coming to fruition.

As I listened to Edwards speaking, I realized that he is positioning himself for VP, and I think there might be some deal-brokering, phone calls, and horse trading between Edwards and Obama coming soon. I'll be interested to see how it plays out.

Meanwhile, I'm watching Hillary speaking, and she just seems so lackluster. In fact, she keeps jacking Edwards and Obama phrases and passing them off as her own with a very flat delivery. To make matters worse, she's framed on the right by Madeleine Albright and by Bill on the left. It's one of the ugliest sights ever to grace my television. This woman just has no charisma. To make matters worse, I'm reading this book, and it's really not improving my vision of Hillary. Neither is the mullet she appears to be sporting currently.

The Truth About the Election

You probably realize that I don't pull many punches. In that vein, I'm going to share something that I think of as each new election draws near. While some of us might be doing frantic calculations to determine who will be the next president, it all comes down to one thing: the BBQ factor.

When Americans go to the polls to pick a president, they're not thinking about taxes, foreign policy, or kindergarten transcripts. They're thinking, "Now which of these candidates would I want at my BBQ." Ideally, the president will arrive clad in a plaid shirt, grab a Pabst Blue Ribbon from the cooler, and sidle up to the grill to flip some meat with his buddies.

Now, do Americans really want Hillary at their BBQ? Just imagine--she'd show up, demand shiraz, and wrestle control from the host. Before you know it, she's thrown out the beef and pork in favor of more healthy chicken and fish. No condiments allowed either.

Will Obama be invited to the BBQ? Only for some post-BBQ lynching.

Giuliani? I'm not sure America will take too kindly to someone trying to work his Italian sausage into things.

Romney? Can you trust a man who won't drink a beer?

What it comes down to here is Huckabee and Edwards. Both electable. Both suitable for BBQ invites.

I'll take Edwards. After we grill our plethora of meats and ride around in the fluffy clouds and dazzling rainbows on our unicorns, we'll be handing out leftover meat to the poor.

Fool Me Twice: The Hillary Clinton Nightmare 3--The Final Chapter--President Huckabee

Or Giuliani...doesn't matter. Hillary Clinton in unelectable. A vote for Hillary is a vote for Huckabee and here's why:

According to a recent Zogby poll, Edwards and Obama beat (or in one case tie) every Republican candidate. Senator Hillary on the other hand would lose to EVERY MAJOR REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE including--brace yourself--Fred Thompson! This is with the least popular Republican administration in the history of time occupying the White House. This is with Hillary barely starting her "charming" angry paranoid meltdowns.



There's more: despite Hillary's effort to mimic Republican positions on everything save Abortion, Hillary is unbelievably hated amongst Republican voters. According to a USA Today poll, 84% of Republicans say they would never vote for her. The numbers for Obama and Edwards are in the 60% range.

And then there are the other "negatives." People that just can't stand Ms. Abrasive. 45% of all Americans would never vote for her. Compare this to Edwards' 31% and Obama's 30%. Men are especially high with a full 50% against Hillary no matter what.



Why do any Democrats support Hillary anyway? Some fondly remember the '92 Clinton victory but forget the Ross Perot 3rd-party good fortune that got him there with only 43% of the vote. Bill Clinton never had Hillary-like Negatives, and always had charm and an ability to connect with Americans that Hillary can't even approach.



Another reason she garners Dem support is what I like to call the "Dukakis Factor." Simply put, the Dukakis Factor is the Democratic Party's ability to pick the least electable candidates (president and vice president) possible for reasons that still baffle me. I think it starts in 1968 with Hubert Humphrey, then McGovern, with a break for Carter (who's 1980 victory was stolen by Reagan's "October Surprise.) Next Mondale and Ferraro, Dukakis, then Clinton another exception, followed by Gore (He wasn't very warm back then [maybe it's global warming] and let's not forget how many in the Democratic base still feel about Tipper's censorship crusade) and ol' Bloodthirsty Joe Lieberman. This ticket DID WIN of course but kept what should have been a landslide close enough to steal. Kerry ALSO WON, but was once again devoid of charisma and a landslide slid into another stolen election. Republicans like to win more than anything. Whereas Democrats, with a platform that benefits 95% of Americans, somehow figure out a way to lose.

While whatever fascist Repub plays to his base, Hillary plays to the Republican base that can't stand her. So vote for another Democrat, any Democrat. Or maybe just cast a vote in the Republican primary.

Hil is scared... And she should be...

Since I'm currently ill and confined to the bed, I'm mercy to my television. I think it's trying to tell me something. I was happily watching the Food Network and then it magically switched over to MSNBC. Guess I'm supposed to make a post.

We at American Other all take individual responsibility for our own presidential favorites. It's no secret that I'd like John Edwards to give me better health insurance, tuck me in and read me bedtime stories. Iowans, in the title of Spike Lee, Do the Right Thing.

(Chuck Norris is predicting a landslide for Huckabee, by the way. Life gets even more farcical than inside my head.)

ABC News is reporting, however, that the Clinton team is prepping for a massive spin campaign for when she does not capture the Iowans hearts. The article notes that there are plans to "declare success" even if Hil finishes in third place.

No!!!!!!!!

We've had eight years of declaring success when there's failure. Mission accomplished when mission ain't accomplished. Doublespeak and doublethink and the Thought Police. The last thing I want to see is a serious presidential candidate preparing to "declare success" for no reason.

Godspeed tomorrow, Iowans.

Fool Me Twice: The Hillary Clinton Nightmare--Part 1--Endless War

Snarff here. Rani is doing the Xmas thing. I'm part of Bill-O's war on Christmas, so I'm going to throw some posts your way.

Our experience should have shown us the danger in trusting this Administration as it marched to war. That is why I and many of my colleagues -- at least many of those who bothered to vote -- opposed the Kyl-Lieberman Amendment. Unfortunately, Senator Clinton instead chose to lend credence to the Administration's position...It's easy to say 'fool me once, shame on George Bush,' but when she's been fooled twice, shame on her.
--Senator Christopher Dodd



As courageous as Chris Dodd has been these days (except for funding the war again), I have to disagree with him. Senator Hillary Clinton is the one trying to fool America twice, which is why any Democrat (and perhaps even the anti-war *gag* Repub Ron Paul) would be a decidedly better president.

While Senator Clinton mounts racist attacks against Senator Obama, (that drug dealer thing that would make George H.W. proud) she claims to be a helpless woman being attacked by misogynists.

Clinton touts her "experience" in her husband's administration, but asks us to forget her failure in her signature project (with a Democratic Congress no less)--Health Care reform. Oh, and then the Clintons helped to lose congress for 12 years and keep Rush flush with Oxycontin. Don't forget NAFTA--we all hear the "giant sucking sound" now. (Ross Perot had those great big ears so he heard it first.)

Progressives look forward to another Clinton administration like they look forward to open-heart surgery.

This first post will focus on perhaps the most dangerous aspect of Clinton's candidacy: her thirst for war.

I take responsibility for my vote. It was a sincere vote based on the facts and assurances we had at the time. Obviously, I would not vote that way again if we knew then what we know now.
Sen. Clinton on 2002 Iraq War authorization.

Except she did. Clinton voted for the Kyl-Lieberman amendment to "...designate the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps as a foreign terrorist organization." What exactly is the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps? Is it a rag tag band of terrorists doing the hand-over -hand bars at an Al Qaeda "camp?" No it's actually the largest branch of the Iranian Army, currently over 400,000 strong. This is more than double the number of US troops in Iraq. In time of war, the IRGC reportedly can swell to 11 million. So it's no wonder that Senator Jim Webb called the bill "Dick Cheney's fondest pipe dream" and "...tantamount to a declaration of war." Senator Clinton is all too comfortable with war.

Not only does Hillary refuse to apologize for her vote to attack Iran, she believes the NIE "vindicates" her approval of the Iran war. Sound familiar? This is the same patented up-is-down doublespeak the Bush administration trotted out after the NIE. Here's what Hillary was saying about Iran in September: "The Revolutionary Guards are deeply involved in Iran’s nuclear program." Doesn't sound like vindication to me. But it does sound like Hillary circa 2003: "It is clear ... that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons." Hillary Clinton: a mouthpiece for NeoCons everywhere.

Hillary is also committed to being in Iraq indefinitely. Even with nearly 4,000 dead US Soldiers and an Iraqi death toll tantamount to genocide, Sen. Clinton wants a permanent presence in Iraq. Apparently Big Oil money isn't red or blue, it's green like the rest of Hillary's special interest cash. Sen. Clinton shows the same callous disregard for human life that W has. As the remainder of the Democratic field promises to be out of Iraq in a year, Hillary Clinton betrays America yet again.

Should Hillary be elected she would be the first woman president. She may also be the first woman President to be tried for war crimes.

We need to use every tool at our disposal, including...the threat and use of military force.
Sen. Clinton "talking tough" about Iran at AIPAC (American Israel Public Affairs Committee) dinner; 1/31/07

The Readers Have Spoken

In our last poll, we asked, "Which is the biggest lie."

Your choices: Mike Huckabee is right about Creationism, Hillary really bakes cookies, Dennis Kucinich saw a UFO, Bush just got the Iran report last week.

Which is the biggest lie?

Bush just got the Iran report last week took a narrow win over Hillary's culinary skills.

No one voted for Kucinich's UFO encounter, which either suggests that we believe Kucinich or he sounds positively earnest compared to the rest of these characters.

Now, we bring you a new poll. Speak your mind. Be not afraid.

All the News...

Baseketball: Here I am, mildly hamstrung by an aching wrist--but after the Mitchell Report, my doctor refuses to do anything about it. How the not-so-mighty have fallen. Don't you remember when George Mitchell was doing IRA/Northern Ireland peace talks? I once had a classmate who claimed George Mitchell was her father. He wasn't. I should have realized this, since "Mitchell" wasn't her surname, but I was trying not to be judgmental. Bad idea.

Halliburton Land: I still haven't seen much coverage of the Halliburton rape case. Yes, there are now 730 Google News hits, but I haven't really seen it in any of the major locales. (No, The Kansas Record isn't what I have in mind). Get it together, major news media outlets! Hillary Clinton, I saw at one point, has called for a probe into the case. Good one Hillary. You were probably guarding the shipping crate and withholding the cell phone.

Primary School: Straight outta Des Moines, Mike Huckabee tells Elizabeth Edwards that Des Moines Register debates are dull ("It's boring") and everyone with half a brain cell declares John Edwards the winner of the debate. And how could you not? He has got all the charm of Jimmy Carter minus the October Surprise. He won't get down and dirty in various Obama-Clinton debacles. While they are playing playground politics, Edwards is busy saving puppies and helping old ladies cross the street.

The Cold Truth: I'm just going to say it. Don't go to the primaries electing people on whim or novelty. There's too much "Ooooh! A woman!" and "Oooooh! An African American!" going on. Look at the big picture. Think about who might win a general election. Think about all those people who aren't like you, who think electing anyone other than a white Christian man goes against God's (and Chuck Norris') law. Come time for the national election, when they're hesitating between Mitt "I Wear Magical Undies" Romney and Hillary Clinton, who are they going to pick? When they are forced to choose between Mike "I Love Chuck" Huckabee and Barack Obama, what are they going to do?

Quite frankly, I'm fed up with the Lil' Dems a lot of the time, but they're infinitely preferable to the Lil' Repubs. Let's think about our latest Lil' Dem Presidents: Lil' Bill, Lil' Jimmy Carter, Lil' Lyndon Johnson. White. Southern. Men. Lil' John Edwards. White. Southern. Man.

If we hadn't just endured eight years from hell, courtesy of Dubya, I'd probably be voting for Lil' Barack. But it's been bad, kids. Really bad. In my hunt for an electable candidate, I stumbled over Lil' John Edwards, and I realized that he's more of what I was looking for anyway.

And the man drives a gold Dodge Caravan. I know this because Snarff and I were at an event once and, when we left, wound up on Massachusetts Avenue behind Lil' John Edwards. I began to wave crazily out the car window, and he waved back.

We Cut Out the Middleman

Much hullabaloo this weekend as Oprah Winfrey appeared in Iowa to campaign for Lil' Barack Obama. (NB: Do check out the LA Times link because you can vote on "Best Celebrity Endorsement," and Fred Thompson is his own celebrity endorsement. Who said America isn't wonderful?)

I have a proposal: Forget about Obama and just elect Oprah. Come on, you know you want to.

Oprah has a suitable (Bill) Clinton-esque narrative of progress sure to please even the most diehard meritocrats around. Coming from a struggling and troubled childhood, Oprah works hard and reinvents herself as, perhaps, the most successful American businesswoman ever. Gee, isn't this country great?! See, you just have to work hard like Oprah, and you'll be completely fine. And if you didn't do as well as Oprah, well, you just didn't try hard enough. This is the message I want to send the children of America. Don't you? For shame!

While I'm sure that celebrity endorsements for presidential campaigns are nothing new, I can't help but wonder if the Oprah-hoopla confirms my suspicion that the 2008 hopefuls are, mostly, a bunch of divas. And that's why we should just forget the candidates altogether and vote for the celebrities.

It would go a little something like this....

The Death Match

Lil' Dems
Harry Belafonte (John Edwards)
Oprah Winfrey (Barack Obama)
Barbara Streisand (Hillary Clinton)
Sean Penn (Dennis Kucinich)

Lil' Republicans
Ric Flair (Mike Huckabee)
The Cast of Big Love (Mitt Romney)
Steve Forbes (Rudy Giuliani)
Fred Thompson (Fred Thompson)

The Action

Early Primaries
In the first round, Belafonte sings the "Banana Boat Song," while Streisand reprises her numbers from Yentl. The American Idol judges declare Belafonte the winner, fair and square.

Wrestler Ric Flair takes on Steve Forbes and, let's face it, that match is over in approximately 30 seconds.

Oprah and Sean Penn go head to head, but Oprah hops on her diamond-encrusted pony rocket and leaves Sean Penn in the dust. Serves him right for the heavy-handed metaphors in his 9/11 short film.

Finally, it's the cast of Big Love vs. Fred Thompson. With all the prayerful action that Bill, Barb, Nicky, Margene and the kids could offer--and the evil doings of Roman, Albee, and everyone on the compound--it appears that Fred Thompson might meet his match. But no--the law is on Fred Thompson's side, law and order to be more specific. So, while the cast of Big Love is meeting to plan their attack, Fred Thompson has called the state police, the FBI, and the ATF. Before the cast can act, their houses and the compound are swarmed, and a Waco-style shootout/fiery death occurs.

The Conventions
Oprah thinks she has the nomination cinched, with only Harry Belafonte to throw down. But wait, Oprah didn't bother to come up with a platform. She was running on her role as Oprah (sounds like her endorsee, no?). News comes to light of Belafonte's involvement in the March on Washington and in the Civil Rights Movement, and the crowds go wild. No one wants Oprah anymore, so she cries on national television--to no avail.

As Ric Flair prepares to head off Fred Thompson at the pass, Thompson has called a congressional hearing to investigate use of steroids in the WWE. Ric Flair finds himself stuck in awful traffic on Massachusetts Avenue on his way to the Capitol for the hearing. Thompson wins again.

Election Day
With Harry Belafonte and Fred Thompson neck-and-neck, there's no telling what could happen. On election night, it's too close to call, so the candidates go home for a snooze. Senior Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak announces that she will personally oversee the hanging chad counting, and Belafonte is revealed to be the winner. Conspiracy theorists suggest that with Judith Light now a judge, Novak was worried about losing yet another DA. After all, who's going to back her up when Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler, Richard Belzer and Ice-T come up with their usual cockamamie schemes.

There you have it. John Edwards, I mean Harry Belafonte, for the win. Was that so difficult?

Just a Day on the Campaign Trail

This week is already shaping up to be a doozy for Campaign 2008 watchers.

From the "This-should-be-an-episode-of-Lil'-Bush" category, we have the Obama-Clinton Debacle. Clinton accuses Obama of being disingenuous about his presidential designs because--get this--he says running for president wasn't a long-held ambition but a kindergarten essay indicates that Obama wanted to be president even then. Wow. Is that the dirt Clinton's been holding out on Obama? The best part of all of this is the Obama spokesman's reply: "I'm sure tomorrow they'll attack him for being a flip-flopper because he told his second grade teacher he wanted to be an astronaut."

In the interest of "equal time" or whatever rule it is that means Fred Thompson won't be guesting on Law and Order: SVU any more (damn!), here's the word from Planet Crackpot. I mean, Mitt Romney. Thursday is Romney's big speech when he'll try to convince the world that he and other Mormons aren't totally loony. To the contrary, check out this MSNBC transcript in which Mitt Romney doesn't deny his belief that the Garden of Eden is in Missouri. Missouri!