Saudi, Saudi, Saudi, I Can Let You Go...

This morning, The Washington Post reports that while Gitmo endures, the United States and Saudi Arabia have worked up an extra special plan to "reintegrate" Saudi detainees back into society. Sounds like a little "special buddies" action, no?

According to the Post:

The Defense Department considered more than 90 percent of the transferred detainees to be terrorist threats to the United States and its allies, but sent them home as part of an agreement that Saudi Arabia would mitigate the threat, according to Cmdr. J.D. Gordon, a Pentagon spokesman.

Does this sound fishy to you? "We consider them a threat, but Saudi Arabia will make it aaaaall better." Hmm. Since Saudi Arabia is so adept at prisoner reform, let's just ship our convicts there and watch them rise like phoenixes from the ashes of the U.S. penal system.

From the Saudi perspective:

The Saudi government contends that the reintegration program helps break the terrorist mind-set by linking former detainees with their families, their communities and a stable lifestyle. "No one who has gone through the program, completed it, and been released has presented a threat," said Adel al-Jubeir, the Saudi ambassador to Washington.

So we're assuming that everyone who was locked in Guantanamo actually was a terrorist? That's news to me.

But, in just six short weeks, your jihadist impulses will be gone:

After a reunion of nearly a week with their families, the former detainees begin a six-week program to "correct their ideas" about jihad and non-Muslims, a government effort to woo them away from al-Qaeda's radical theology in one-on-one discussions with religious scholars, Saudi officials said.

And you'll be living in the lap of luxury, kind of like Britney Spears in rehab:

After completing the course, former detainees begin the second phase at a halfway house, replete with a pool, volleyball courts, video games and table tennis. "It's like outpatient treatment. It's like a camp or resort," said a senior Saudi official familiar with the program, who agreed to be interviewed only if he was not identified.... They receive vocational training, religious classes and counseling to deal with depression or to help them adjust psychologically after lengthy captivities. They can spend an occasional night with their families; during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, they spend a week with relatives.

If you gave me a Wii, I might stop being a terrorist too.

Now, of course, I have no problems with the idea of releasing people from Gitmo. Their incarceration and treatment is nothing short of abysmal. Locking people away in Guantanamo is a pretty naive way for the U.S. to avoid taking responsibility for its own behavior and an evil, calculated way to galvanize public support for a failing war and an economy that is on an express train to recession.

What does bother me, however, is that this repatriation program is just another example of the buddy-buddiness with Saudi Arabia that is so characteristic of a Bush. (Not to mention: Saudi clearly is hamstringing the U.S. because of our oil habit, forcing Bush to leave troops in Iraq.)

In fact, the Post article notes:

U.S. and Saudi officials doubt, however, that the program could be adapted to Yemen, Somalia and other countries that lack appropriate resources or strong central governments.

Ah yes, the old "appropriate resources" and "central governments" debate. Why don't they just say it: "We're pissed off at Yemen, because that's where Osama's from" and "Somalia is filled with Africans so we can't trust them." That's *really* how Bush feels. Why pretend that Saudi Arabia is a happy paradise, an island floating in an ocean of Islamic fundamentalism. And how many of those 9/11 hijackers were Saudi? Exactly. Pot meet kettle meet pot.

Why not just say, "Saudi Arabia has colonized us, courtesy of the Bush family, through our dependence on their oil. That's why we're giving them their citizens back." Or "Al-Saud promised ponies for the president and every member of his administration."

At the very least, the pony bribe makes sense. The narratives of Saudi exceptionalism don't.