Today, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney took a page out of President John F. Kennedy's book when he issued a speech to inform the world that his Mormon faith wouldn't influence his presidency.
The Washington Post kindly reprinted the text of Romney speech, available here. Notably, Romney says:
Let me assure you that no authorities of my church, or of any other church for that matter, will ever exert influence on presidential decisions. Their authority is theirs, within the province of church affairs, and it ends where the affairs of the nation begin.
But Romney sort of missed the point. Whereas Americans were concerned that Kennedy might have been answering to the Vatican with his political decisions, few people really think Romney will become the mouthpiece for the megalomaniacal machinations of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. No, the truth is most people just think Mormons are more than a little loony. And for good reason, too.
Riddle me this, Romney. Where in Missouri is the Garden of Eden? Would that be in St. Louis or somewhere closer to, say, Kansas City? Have you really never had a cuppa joe? Do you wear your magical underwear when you and the Missus are making more spirit children? And for how many holocaust victims did you get proxy-baptized?
Seriously. Missouri?!
5 comments:
amazing. mitt--which one of your grandfather's 1000 wives was grandma? all of them?
You'd think a religion that has magical undies wouldn't have so many fun-haters. You would be wrong.
Want. magical. underwears.
Hi Rani, I'm the guy who coined 'Roveferatu' on his blog. Thanks for visiting and commenting; you may want to check out some of my posts on religion because I also happen to be a Mormon (a slightly out-of-place one, but one nonetheless). For the record, let me just say that the Garden of Eden was theorized by Joe Smith to be closer to Kansas City than St. Louis. Like you, I'm skeptical about whether any Paradise could have ever been in Missouri.
As a Mormon, I'm actually embarrassed that we (including Mitt) are so afraid of our looniness. We used to be the nut-jobs out in the desert defending our harems against the feds, and now we are some of the loudest proponents of having the constitution restrict what marriage legally can be. We went from wilderness millenarians to the poster-children for conservative normalcy (at least we've tried to).
Our whole claim used to be that we are not like any other Christian group - that we are very, very different. I guess that doesn't make one very electable.
As we try harder and harder to kiss up to the Christian Right, we may eventually give up our magic undies and insistence on a married, incarnate God living in outer space. Until then, I plan to keep enjoying my über-undies and being a java-less fun-lover.
Thanks for commenting, Will. I'll definitely check out your blog. I appreciate the fun-loving Mormon perspective!
Post a Comment